New friends

If you've never partied with the Heaven's Thunder Triad, let me assure you, it's not to be missed.

My new friends picked me up at the police station and gave me a ride in their limosine to one of those abandoned wharf-side warehouses that are reserved for only the most clandestine of crimes, whereupon they stripped me naked and shaved my body as though preparing me for surgery.

Then we played a party game, in which my new friends drew stones from a bag to decide what part of my body they would remove. I should have been terrified. I should have pleaded for them to stop. I should have told them everything they wanted to know.

But I was exhilarated, giddy! I urged, begged them to continue. I lied and dodged specifically to make them work harder for what they wanted to know. When they offered me a phone to dial for help, I ordered pizza. And when they took my eye, I told them to go slow, and they did, and it was the most amazing sensation I have ever felt.

And then, when they threatened to kill me, I was ecstatic. (Alas, they let me go.)

The last time I was tortured in such a manner, I erupted. So what was this? Was it a similar awakening of something latent? Or was it a manifestation of the elation of death, the profound relief that I would meet a definite and discrete end instead of disincorporating into nothing..? I wonder.

P.S. Please note that they took my phone as well as my eye, and there is a very good imitator among them; so if I'm in the news doing wacky things, or you get strange crank calls from me, apologies in advance.